Suicide lady

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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby.
The lady notices the man coming and says:
– Go away! There’s nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me.
– Well, if you’re going to kill yourself anyway, why don’t we have sex? At least I’ll enjoy it, replies the man.
– No way, you’re disgusting, go away.
The homeless man turns and starts walking away.
The lady thinks: Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won’t you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?
The homeless man thinks: I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you’ll still be warm.

Feriti copiii de suferinta

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Un mos de 119 ani si nevasta de 109 merg la tribunal sa divorteze.
Judecatorul:
– Da’ de cati ani sunteti casatoriti?
– Apoi, au trecut 80, raspunde mosul.
Judecatorul:
– Si de cati ani nu va mai intelegeti?
– Cam de 50, dom’ judecator.
Judecatorul:
– Si atunci, ce ati asteptat pana acu’?
– Sa moara copiii ca sa nu sufere, raspunse mosul.